It may be unnerving to some, but since i was a child i'd had a love for pain. Maybe in truth, i'm more masochist than submissive. i'm not sure. i've had a subservient relationship with someone, someone who abused me horribly, and i think i was good. But, looking back, maybe i wasn't.
Anyways, since i was a small child, i love pain. Not necessarily intentionally inflicting pain on myself, but i wouldn't cry when i got. In part, it has to do with my father calling me his "little boy" and, you know, boys don't cry. Due to that, what else is left to do but relish in the pain? Feel the pain, be one with pain, make peace with the pain.
i know that liking pain, doesn't make one submissive. But i like to receive pain because i've done something bad. "You didn't have dinner ready for me when i got home? Oh you naughty girl." This excites me. The thought that i'm supposed to please someone else, and if i don't i get punished for it. Deep down, all i want is to be please someone. And i want very obvious forms of expression in which i do or don't please that person. i seek approval so much. This is why i think i'd make a good submissive. But as a newbie, what do i know?
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